You may be SAD!

You wake up one morning in late October, you look over at your clock and the alarm is flashing with its usual annoying tones. Your eyes slowly focus and your mind feels as if it is separated from your body. You recognise a familiar feeling – the feeling that, during the night you have somehow lost every reason to continue living.

In the reality of daylight, nothing has changed since you set the alarm and slipped into to a deep sleep the previous evening. Now, eight hours later, as you reach to cancel the alarm, a feeling of desperate emptiness sits on your chest like an anvil rendering you disabled. The thoughts of the day ahead come rushing into your mind like a dam bursting its bank. You are overwhelmed with anxiety and the irrational fear of life has gripped you like a vice that has pounced on you while you where unconscious. Your body lies still while your mind is tossing a thousand unrelated thoughts like a tumble dryer. Each individual thought becoming suspended for just a second but quickly replaced by another as your mind systematically untangles your stored-up thoughts. 

This is the first few seconds of a day that you now face with an emotional emptiness that others just cannot fathom. Facing life, family, domesticity, work, or even the process of rising from your bed seems to be an impossible demand and, although you are rational, intelligent, calm, and of sound mind, the effort feels humanly impossible.

If you recognise my recollection, you may have a mood disorder that is associated with this type of a sudden depressive episode. It could be related to seasonal variations in available daylight. This can be very disabling and it can make you feel undeservedly plagued with a condition that refuses to unleash you.

Some people call this the ‘Winter Blues’ or ‘Winter Depression’ but it is now medically recognised as Seasonal Affective Disorder - SynonymSAD

For me, this battle commences at the end of October and it can last until February. The severity varies and I have to fight it daily. Those around me are not always aware of the condition or indeed the mental battle that I am forced into each morning - like a gladiator fighting for the freedom of peace of mind.

Low mood during the winter has been observed since 1845 but not properly recognised as a medical disorder until the 1980s.  Research shows that two percent of the population in Northern Europe have severe depression resulting from SAD while here in the United Kingdom one-in-fifty people have it.

The condition becomes obvious around the age of thirty and is more prevalent in women than in men. The further away you live from the equator the more likely you will suffer from SAD. There is also a genetic component and you are more likely to suffer from SAD if a close relative is affected. I know at least one of my sons have the condition and I know one of my siblings and one of my parents also suffer.

SAD is connected to reduced exposure to light during the winter months. There are several theories as to the underlying mechanism of SAD. These include changes in circadian rhythm - possibly related to the hypothalamus. It is also linked to the hormone melatonin, which is secreted from the pineal gland, which itself has direct connection to the retina. Melatonin production is increased in the dark and thus there is increased production during the shorter days of winter. The condition causes a lack of serotonin in the brain and that is something you have no control over.

My condition is fightable – most days I win with sheer determination. Occasionally I am so overcome by the condition that I simply crawl back under the sheets, ignoring the alarm, and I drift to back into a deep sleep – the only place that offers respite.

If you are a fellow sufferer, please drop me a line. Take a look at the books and products I have selected opposite, they may be of help to you.

Chocolate helps me so I eat a lot of it in the winter.