How a man felt when his boy went to WAR!

Ok, so the ‘boy’ is a young man, a loved son! Those of you with children will know what men mean when they refer to their sons as their boys! They are always their ‘boys’ no matter how old or how tough they become. It is true to say that sons get bigger, cheekier, and more expensive to feed, and they drink their dad’s beer and challenge the long established authority. However, they remain ‘boys’ in the hearts of their fathers, even when they are men.

This man’s boy went to war earlier this year.

It seemed to this father that one-day his son was a spotty juvenile and the next minute he was a young Royal Marine carrying a bloody big gun and a ‘full metal jacket’. Of course, it was not a surprise to him, his boy going to war; he had been ready for that inevitability all the way through the previous nine months when his boy was in military training. The hardest in the world, say those who make them do it. The man, a loving father, was ‘intellectually’ ready for his boy to go to war. He understood and accepted that being a Marine was what the boy had chosen to do. He was as proud as its possible to be - when watching him doing his stuff on the passing out day. On that wonderful day war did not seem to close to his son or his family.

The man secretly became an emotional wreck.

Like all Dad’s, with boys in the military, this man considered his boy to be his little hero, and forever the pretend soldier with a toy gun and a muddy face -as he was when aged seven. However, what took this man by surprise, a few days after his son had been deployed to a war zone, was how he felt in the morning when he turned on the Radio. The man secretly became an emotional wreck. He would wake up every morning and turn up the volume up on the BBC Radio Two News. (He is one of Terry’s old geezers!) Those first few moments of each day became the most intense minutes that he had ever experienced, and it got worse for him as time went on. He would listen for news of fatalities in Afghanistan. This became addictive behaviour and it was not just the early news that he was focusing on. He would listen again at every opportunity - while eating breakfast, driving to work, at work, driving home from work, eating his tea, watching television, listening to the radio as he got back into bed at the end of the day. It was all consuming; he was obsessed with news, particularly bulletins that mentioned Helmand Province, Sangin, or the Marines.

This went on every day while his boy was at war.

Addictively, he started watching every programme he could find that referred to war. Between the news bulletins, he started searching the internet for

more and more information and found himself reading articles from just about every point of view ever written on the Afghan war. He even signed up to YouTube and started watching all the footage he could find showing the Marines, or indeed any military in Afghanistan. Google Earth became his home page and he desperately attempted to zoom in to view the Helmand territory, knowing it was not a live picture, and hoping that maybe, just maybe, he would see his son. He even searched for civillian employment opportunities that may be available in Camp Bastion - he just wanted to be close to his boy.

It was not the first time that one of his boy's had gone to war.

An Iraq war medal already has its place in the family cabinet at home, but for some reason, this time; this war was very different and seemed more dangerous. This time, he had a boy searching for IED’S (Improvised Explosive Devices) in what was reportedly considered as the “Most dangerous place on earth!”

“Get a grip man!”

Now, I must tell you that this man was a mature man with a life history that had made him pretty ‘tough’ and particularly detached from his feelings. He had seen some shit in his time and was not naïve when it came to understanding suffering, death, and the evil-doings of a human race who he believed had gone completely mad. However, and without any shame, he later openly admitted that while his boy Marine was at war, he cried every day - and so often at one point, that he had to give himself a kick up the ass, with the stern message “Get a grip man!” He did not help his feelings by listening to every detail of every ‘contact’ reported, or watching the unofficial footage that young Marines had filmed when under heavy fire on the front line. No, this was not a good thing for him to have done. It did not help.

Of course, he hid all this emotion and worry away from his family, mates, children, and especially from his wife. At one point, he had held in so many tears of anguish, and the fear of losing his son, that he found himself parking his car in a quiet lane and blubbing like a baby! He just had to let it out before going home to make the tea and participate in everyday life.

When someone that close to you is so far away, and in such great danger, the worry you carry, every waking hour, is overwhelming - almost to the point of making you unable to function properly. This man literally fell to pieces on the inside and no doubt, he was not the only Dad of a boy Marine that did this, or will in the future!

His son is home now, safe as houses and back on his base with his comrades. He got back in one piece and alive, unlike so many others.The man’s boy, a typical ‘Boot neck!’ has played down his involvement and, just like many boys back from war; he deflects any praise or admiration.

The man knows his boy will read this Hub and that he will no doubt be embarrassed at his old man’s blathering. However, this man wants all readers to be mindful what our Hero boy's do for our safekeeping, and, to be honest, this particular man needed to tell someone how he felt, so thanks for reading.

He is not looking forwards to his boys return to WAR in the future.

UPDATE: Read my new Hub entitled Families at War